Monday, July 28, 2008

A Cabin in the Woods


Solitude. Recently I've met someone who has a cabin in the woods and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. The thought of getting away into the quiet where I can be alone sounds refreshing and relieving. Since I can't go to a cabin in the woods right now I try to practice solitude here at home. I sit down with my paper and pen, out in the warm air of the garden, hoping to empty my mind of it's busyness. I try to get to a place of tranquility and calm. I want to leave the static in me behind. I want to create open space where I can get some perspective. Where can I find restoration and rejuvenation? I listen. The curtain draws a breath in and then out. I do the same. Breathing in,"I forgot to."..............Breathing out,"I have to"..............the curtain knows something I don't. Being.

I realized today that even if I go to a cabin in the woods I won't find peace because I'll still be with my anxious self. There's no where to run. This week I will spend time catching my thoughts, the ones that rob me of hope and faith and love and peace. I will say to myself, "breathe." I will ask myself, "What is it that rejuvenates you?"
And now I ask you, dear reader, what is it that rejuvenates you? Where do you find solitude? What restores your soul?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Leo


Yesterday my friend found a little dog. She called me to tell me that he looked exactly like my dog, Henri. Henri is a Bichon-poodle. She said that he was under a car and she couldn't get him out.

I had just spent the morning lamenting over the fact that I need to have a schedule. But even when I have a schedule, I thought, there are so many distractions that make it difficult to keep on track. I had just sent my husband off to the store with his mother, who is visiting, in hopes of writing a schedule while they were gone.

"Oh", I said. "Poor little guy". I remembered when Henri climbed a brick wall when he was a puppy, ran off into a busy intersection and was rescued by a lady who called me because he had his tags. "Does he have a tag?"

"I don't think so", she said. "He growls at me when I put my hand toward him. I'm afraid he'll bite me if I try to get him out".

"Try giving him some meat or cookies", I said.

A few minutes later she called me back to say that he wasn't interested in food. He just stayed in one place looking at her.

"Do you want me to come over and help you?" You don't have time to do this, I thought. But neither did I have any clear idea of what actually needed to be done because I hadn't written my schedule yet. It wouldn't take that long. I would come right back. The dog's little face was now in my heart. I saw him shaking underneath the car, white fluffy hair leaning hard against a hot rubber tire. I had to go.

My friend was waiting on her front porch, her chin resting on her hand. We were so happy to see each other and gave a long hug. She only lives two miles away. I have known her for 32 years and was her maid of honor. We are so comfortable with each other and enjoy each other's company. When we haven't seen each other for a long time we just pick up where we left off. But our busyness, our schedules, my preconceived idea that I must have a schedule and stick to it, can keep us from life's valuable interruptions, like friends dropping by. Now there was a need.

I got down on my hands and knees, talking gently, trying to coax the dog out. I brought some lamb meat with me, but he just stared at me. He was trembling and looked so sad. He barely fit under the car, so oily dirt turned his fur black on top of his head. My friend decided to get a broom and push him toward me. He got really mad and bit at the straw, made himself heavy in the grass but she just kept pushing. As soon as his head was out I began petting him. He just laid there on his side. I pulled him out a little further, kept talking softly and could tell by the way he was laying that he had a sweet disposition, much like Henri.

. I picked him up and held him close, he put his head under my chin and stayed perfectly still. We brought him into the house to calm him down and earn his trust. Soon my friend's husband had him checking out his new environment, maybe his new home. My friend had always said that only if she could have a dog like Henri would she have a dog. I thought maybe he was a gift to her. My friends wanted to take his picture and put it around the neighborhood. They looked in the Lost and Found for possible adds. They also considered what his name should be.

My friend's husband had just opened the screen door when we heard children yelling from a car window. At that moment the dog's ears perked up and he ran out the door. My friend's husband tried to stop the car but it went by too fast. So he jumped in his car and went after them. The dog stood in the middle of the street, ears hopeful. He didn't run from me when I went to pick him up. "He's so happy now", my friend said.

A mom and two kids pulled up. "Leo!", they said. I handed the dog to the little girl. The mom thanked us so much. They were neighbors who had not met before. And this was the path they took to walk the dog, so Leo was probably just taking himself for a walk.

Old friends got together, a little dog was rescued, a family was spared a loss and new friends were made all because I left my time to make my much needed schedule. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Let's Do This Again


My daughter, Joy, and I took my niece and nephew to the beach last night for dinner. They were so excited. It was 5:30, the sun was still up, it was warm and the parking lot was full. We crossed the busy bike path, down the boardwalk to the sand.

"I don't like sand", John said. John is eight. Sahar is thirteen.

We spread out our big square, striped towel. Set down the pizzas, the paperbag with salad, salsa and chips and the coldbox of drinks. Joy and I already had our shoes off. But John and Sahar decided to keep theirs on. We ate and talked while the seagulls began to gather around us, their eyes on our plates.

"I want to get out of here", John said. "The sand is in my shoes".

"Take your shoes off", I said.

"Are you kidding me?", He said.

"Okay leave them on", I said.

Joy and Sahar went down to the water to find sandcrabs. Sahar had taken off her shoes but not her socks. I suggested John go with them to see the crabs. At first he said, "no way". Then two minutes later, "oookkaayy, I'll go". He took off his shoes and ran down to the water.

The seagulls had now surrounded our towel, cautiously moving closer and closer. One snatched a pizza crust and ran away. Another drank coke from a cup. The boldest of the group grabbed the whole pizza box with his beak attempting to take it with him down the beach. "Go away", I shouted chasing them. John stood there looking at me. "I told you we better get out of here", He said.
"Let's get our feet wet", I said.

"My mom's not going to like this", He said.

"She won't mind", I said. "It will be fun".

We stood at the edge of the forbidden sea. The water came up and touched John's toes. He squealed and said, "that feels so rad". He started to relax. Our rolled up jeans got wet.

Sahar said, "Let's go in, let's go under a wave".

I had on my best jeans, a white linen top and I thought this seemed like such a childish thing to do. But something else within me said, "It will be fun".

"Okay", I said. "Let's go!" I counted to three, we ran out toward a breaking wave and went head first into the cold, salty foam. John, still on the edge, was jumping up and down, caught between wanting to join us and wishing his clothes were still dry. Sahar wanted to go out further, she wanted to dive into every wave. I felt so refreshed and renewed. A seagull sat perched on top of all our belongings as though trying to get a better view of what was going on out there. On our way in Sahar splashed John with water. He told her to stop but started laughing. She put her arms around his waist and dunked him from head to toe. He didn't want to leave.

Neither did I.