On Sunday I attended the Writer's Faire through UCLA Extension. It was so inspiring. Just being with other writer's, hearing their stories, buying a really cool t-shirt, was exhilarating. That very afternoon, when I got home, things began to fall apart. Stuff inside of me started coming to the surface. Self-doubt like a huge rock breaking off from the side of a mountain, toppled down onto my soul. It has taken me all week to regain my balance, but I think I'm finally able to get up, bruised and bleeding, but standing. The companion of self-doubt, I realized, is comparison. While the rocks of self-doubt immobilized me, comparison was the hard ground I fell on. So many suave, funny, intelligent writer's on panels with microphones, published. I, a writer undercover, posing as an audience, one of many hearts filled with hopes and dreams, looking from the outside to a place I want to be, wanting to articulate well what my heart has to say.
On any journey there needs to be preparation and planning. On the writing journey this equates to going to Writer's Faires, taking classes and sitting down to write everyday, believing in the destination I need to travel to however unknown or perilous. There is a way to get there.
One thing is needed: Courage. Writing is a battle. I will choose my companions carefully.
