Courage and Craft
by Barbara Abercrombie is full of wisdom and insight. I'm rereading it
again for the fourth time. For example, "You can sit around for the
rest of your life dreaming about writing your stories, longing to bear
witness on the page to every amazing thing you've seen or lived
through, and wishing for a message from above, that bolt of lightening,
some signal that will let you know now is the time to start being
creative. Or you can just buy a notebook or turn on your computer and
begin writing. It's that simple and that complicated."
I
still wonder around my life daily looking for my passion. I don't know
if it's writing or some other creative endeavor but I do know something
alludes me. I've come to only two conclusions these last few days I've
been thinking about this: I would like someone to just tell me what to
do (which never works in reality) and I want to be in love. (Not that I don't love God, my husband and family). One
of the reasons I like taking classes is because it's a lot like
starting a new relationship. I feel inspired. Getting to know new
people and subjects is exciting. I can't wait to buy art supplies or
books, notebooks and pens. Also a class provides a contained space
where you follow the prescribed curriculum, you succeed and then feel
good about yourself. Why is it so difficult to give this to myself?
It's a problem of having to be validated from someone outside me in
order to feel accepted, thus approved of.
So
now I've uncovered a root and a habit. The root is believing I'm unworthy,
by whose standard I don't know. The habit is continually living in this false belief. To be continued......
